Betting On Serenity
Setting: A bar anywhere.
Time: Late evening, present day.
Characters: KATE, anywhere from 35 to 45, the older of the sisters. Lusty, fun loving.
JACKIE, anywhere from 30 to 40, the younger of the sisters, still concerned about being a good girl.
BARTENDER, optional. Depends upon staging.
NOTICE: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that Betting on Serenity is subject to royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the
Lucinda McDermott
(540) 239-3026 e-mail: Lucimc@charter.net
Lights up on KATE and JACKIE sitting at a small table in a bar. There may or may not be a bar actually visible. JACKIE gets beers at the bar for the two of them, so either bar is off stage or on stage in which case there should be a bartender.
JACKIE
Look at us.
KATE
I don’t have a problem with it.
JACKIE
Did you see all those people? When we took the stuff back to the kitchen, did you see them all?
KATE
The only problem I have is I see no waiter. Waitress. Hello!
JACKIE
Did you see all the—
KATE
Yes, I’m beginning to think AA is the place to meet men. Only problem is—
KATE and JACKIE
They don’t drink!
KATE finds this hysterical. JACKIE actually thinks about it.
JACKIE
It hasn’t affected you?
KATE
Oh, please.
JACKIE
That sign. Over the bar.
KATE
“Happy Hour–all drafts one dollar, well drinks buck-fifty.” Ah, we missed it.
JACKIE
We can’t get happy.
KATE
Guess not.
JACKIE
We have to wait to a certain time of the day, we have to wait until we’ve had a drink to get happy. Isn’t that—you know?
KATE
All I know is I want a drink. Yes, I know how it sounds and I don’t give a damn.
JACKIE
What are the odds this is going to work?
KATE
Father Brian said the recovery rate is 78%. Does anyone work here?
JACKIE
There’s still that 22%.
KATE
Here we go.
JACKIE
No, I’m just saying twelve hundred dollars is a big chunk of—it’s a lot of money.
KATE
And the cost of a life? Priceless.
JACKIE
That’s what gets me. These pat little phrases, “Persist at what you resist.” “What you fear is what you need.” “There’s no time like the present.” Every one has a slogan, a hallmark stamp to legitimize their viewpoint. I want statistics. You know? It’s, it’s. . . I don’t know. I want a guarantee.
KATE
We drive her to the place. We sign her in. She goes through detox. She does the twentyeight days. You’ve put in your bucks. I’ve put in my bucks. Mom and Peter put in their bit, we get the rest from wherever and yeah, we tell her we’ll hold her responsible, we’ll tell her we expect her to pay us back. Yeah, cha, there’s a guarantee. You know what guarantee there is? Either money down the toilet or her life. It’s her choice. It’s her life.
JACKIE
She refuses. Then what?
KATE
I’ve done what I could do. I can sleep at night. Where the hell is the waitress? I’m going to the bar. What do you want?
JACKIE
Look at us.
KATE
Jackie, stop it. You need a drink or what?
JACKIE
Need one?
KATE
Look sweetheart. The meeting was over ten minutes ago. You want to keep going? Go back to the church. I am on my time now. Do you know how much of my life has been put on hold for her this past week? Every bit of free time—work out time, shopping, time with my kids—I missed putting them to bed twice—me time! I’ve missed the only two TV shows I ever watch, and I missed a baby shower I really, really wanted to go to. Mimosas and layettes. The meeting is over. I am on a break. I want a drink. I am getting a drink.
JACKIE
I do need one, you see? I think that’s the point.
KATE
What’s the point?
JACKIE
You asked if I needed a drink. You said you wanted a drink. I heard “needed”, and yeah, I need a drink. My needing is worse than your wanting—I’m just thinking about all this—the words we choose—you know? I find it very interesting that—
KATE turns away abruptly and walks away towards bar
JACKIE con’t
Something lite!
KATE indicates she got the order.
JACKIE sits. Looks around at other patrons. Opens the pocket folder she has with
her. Takes out a stack of internet print-outs stapled together and looks through it.
Takes out a pen and begins under lining items.
KATE comes back with two beers. She sees what JACKIE’s doing and decidedly
tolerates it. KATE and JACKIE drink.
JACKIE
Did you see this one? “The Progressive Disease of Alcoholism.” It’s frightening.
KATE
Looking on.
Yes, considering it ends with that big, black cross and the word “death”, it is.
JACKIE
You’re so. . . I mean, I can appreciate levity, but you, you’re so glib, so—
KATE
I am consumed with the same doubt and uncertainty you are. But you see that cross? That’s at the end of one direction. There is another direction she could go. She could go up. And look, by golly, look where that one ends: “Enlightened and interesting way of life opens up with road ahead to higher levels than ever thought possible.” You want to sit around and speculate her chances? Fine. You need to do that, I’ll listen. I’ve got my drink and I’ve started a tab, I’ll sit here as long as you need. But we’ve made a decision. There is no going back. Yeah, I’m glib. It’s my defense. How the hell else am I going to get through this crap?
JACKIE
I, I look at this. I, well, like right here. The seventh one down, “Occasional memory lapses after heavy drinking.” I have that.
KATE
You are not an alcoholic.
JACKIE
But these other things, I mean, I can’t say that the first few on here don’t apply to me; “Increase in alcohol tolerance, drinking to relieve tension”, isn’t that what we’re doing?
KATE
Social drinking.
JACKIE
“Uncomfortable in situation where there is no alcohol”?
KATE
You can’t trust people who don’t drink. They’re communists.
JACKIE
“Secret irritation when your drinking is discussed”.
KATE
Can we talk about something else?
JACKIE
You said you’d listen to me.
KATE is silent
“Feeling guilt about drinking.”
Silence. JACKIE and KATE drink.
KATE
What number is that one?
JACKIE
Sixteen.
KATE
Finishing beer. Singing.
“Sixteen beers on the wall, take one down, pass it around. . .”
Catches a waitress’s eye and waves empty aloft.
Hello, Madame!
JACKIE
I’m all over this.
KATE
Stop it.
JACKIE
I am!
KATE
Excuse me. This is not about you. This is about someone who has 5 DUIs under her belt from various states. For this last one, the DA is going to look at all the ones she’s weaseled out of—
JACKIE
She didn’t weasel—
KATE
—she was lucky, fine, whatever, but all of us who’ve bailed her out before, gambling that one would be the last one—we’ve spent our chips. We’re done. The well is dry. The next one might not be a simple game of “pull over and blow a point sixteen”. It might be, “don’t have to pull over because she’s lying in a ditch”, or God forbid, she’s taken out others as well. Every day I pass that intersection with the four crosses. Teenagers. Dead. And the woman who hit them—
JACKIE
Yeah, I know. She got life.
KATE
Yeah, well those four kids didn’t. So, okay, you need to process the experience, fine, but I don’t see that we have a choice here. It’s sudden death my friend in more ways than one.
JACKIE
I’m not questioning whether she needs an intervention. I’m convinced of that. I support that.
KATE
Then what’s the problem?
JACKIE shakes his head, drinks.
Fine.
Stands to go to bar.
You want another?
JACKIE nods yes.
KATE goes to bar.
JACKIE continues to look through the piles of papers she has, internet print outs, xeroxes, a brochure. She lingers on the brochure.
KATE returns with two more beers.
KATE
Looking at picture in brochure.
It looks like a real nice place.
JACKIE
Ought to be at that price. Look at the daily schedule. Minute to minute activity.
KATE
Guess that’s so they won’t have time to think about not drinking.
JACKIE
When I was anorexic, the turning point came when I realized how much time, minutes out of the day were devoted to thinking about not eating. Brain time, you know? I could have spent all that time thinking about something worthwhile, maybe even, oh, school?
KATE
That why your grades took such a dive?
JACKIE
Probably.
KATE
I’m glad you got over that. I thought it was going to kill mom. Totally got her goat.
JACKIE
Smiling
Yeah.
KATE
Aren’t you going to drink that?
JACKIE
“Most rooms are double with a private bath.” She has to share a room?
KATE
Don’t mention that at the intervention. She’ll never go.
JACKIE
We can’t call her.
KATE
What?
JACKIE
“Although you may not speak to your patient directly, you can leave a message with the receptionist during regular office hours.” We can’t speak with her.
KATE
Huh.
JACKIE
“Once the patient is assigned to a counselor, he or she will be given a specific evening during which they are allowed to make phone calls.” She won’t. She won’t call.
KATE
She’ll be busy. Not drinking.
Leafing through the papers in front, randomly picking up one.
“In 1998 there were 19,515 alcohol induced deaths in the
JACKIE
If she goes, she’ll hate us. If she doesn’t, she’ll hate us. The minute she realizes what’s going on she’s going to hate us. We can’t win.
KATE
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
JACKIE
So, we do this, then drive her there. Like she’s going to give us goodbye hugs. How can we leave her? “So sis, have a nice time drying out, we’ll catch you on the wagon”?
KATE
It’s time, Jacks.
JACKIE
Sometimes when she’s really gone, she’ll call me. Like around two or three in the morning. She starts talking about when Dad died.
KATE
I can’t listen to this. Are you going to drink that or what?
JACKIE
She goes over every moment, every little detail.
KATE
I can’t stand it when she does that.
JACKIE
I listen. Every time, I listen, and it always ends, it always ends the same way, like the patent at the bottom of the bottle, “Jacks, what would I do without you?” And I feel—
KATE
Jacks, you have got to let go and let this place do it’s job.
JACKIE
She’ll think I’m abandoning her.
KATE
It’s the greatest act of love.
JACKIE
How do we know they’ll be able to help her?
KATE
We don’t. It’s a gamble. But maybe we’ll have some stupid luck.
JACKIE
She could say no. She could say no, and then on top of not getting help, she hates us, and we’re supposed to stick to our guns. That’s what all this says—what—“resolve”! I’m telling her I’m not going to support this behavior anymore, I’ll support the rehab but if she doesn’t do it I can’t give her any more money, I can’t let her in my home, I can’t take her phone calls at two or three in the morning—
KATE
All four of us are saying that Jackie—
JACKIE
And you can do that? You can honestly shut the door in your sister’s face? Hang the phone up on her? Leave her in a jail cell? Can you?
KATE
Come on, Jacks, not now, not after all these meetings, these endless talks, God, Jacks, everything is set now!
JACKIE
You heard what Father Brian said. We have to be united. We have to be committed. We have to have the guts. I don’t have the guts, Kate! I could bring down the whole house of cards. I’m the needle in the haystack. I’m the hidden joker. You know me. As a kid I never wanted to play Monopoly because I couldn’t stand to lose, and I couldn’t stand thinking I might lose, and, and all those times waiting to be picked for a team—
KATE
Oh, Christ almighty, Jackie get it through your head! This is not about you!
JACKIE
Yes it is! He said it’s about all of us! Alcoholism affects everyone! He said so. Look!
Picks up a paper.
“. . .affects severely the entire family”. See? This is about me.
KATE
Don’t you see where she is headed? Look at this; “. . .four in ten fatal motor vehicle accidents had alcohol involved. . .” She is going to kill herself or someone else! “A single DUI can cost $6000 to $7000. . .” “About 15,000 people will die this year in traffic accidents caused by drunk drivers.”
JACKIE
Those are just numbers.
KATE
You said you wanted statistics. I don’t have a guarantee for you. Yes, it’s a leap of faith, yes, we have no idea if she’ll go or even complete the program if she does, but Jackie, honey, we have got to try! I know I can’t live with myself if we don’t at least give it our best shot. Jacks.
JACKIE
I mean, who do I think I am? I look at this thing and, hey, maybe we should be doing an intervention for me!
KATE
You have never gotten a DUI.
JACKIE
Not yet.
KATE
The intervention was your idea.
JACKIE
I can’t take the chance.
KATE
We need you. Without you there’ll only be three of us.
JACKIE
And Father Brian.
KATE
Without you, the odds that she’ll be convinced are nothing! You’re closer to her than any of us. She’ll wonder why you’re not there. She’ll think it’s because you don’t think she has a problem.
JACKIE
How do we know what she’ll think?
KATE
Well, cha! Right! We don’t! Look. Look. We keep going around and around. We’ve been going around for years. Asking the same questions—is it bad enough? Has she reached the point where we have to do something? For years, Jacks. Jacks. Can you actually live with yourself if she dies or kills someone else? If she died maybe that would be better over watching her fade, dwindle into—where’s that sheet—
pulls out the graph JACKIE had before
#40, “Sanitarium or Hospital”. #42 “Loss of Family”. . .
JACKIE
You want me to kick her out of my life!
KATE
#48, “Unable to initiate action”. # 49 “Obsession with drinking”. #51 “Complete Abandonment”.
JACKIE
No! I won’t! Look. I know you have to do this. I know Mom and Peter have to do this. And you’ll be great Kate. You all will. You’ll be strong. You’ll be steadfast. And God willing, luck will be on your side and she’ll say yes. But if she doesn’t, when you all close the door, and I know—you have to—I’ll be the place she comes to. And yes, I will identify the body. But I cannot, will not abandon her.
KATE
But Jacks, that’s, that’s, oh what the hell is the word? I can’t remember. . .
JACKIE
Enabling. I’ll be enabling her.
KATE
Yeah.
JACKIE
Yeah.
Breath.
I have to go. Will you be okay to drive?
No answer.
You can have my beer. Call me, okay? Look Kate—
KATE
Go.
JACKIE
I love her.
Exits.
KATE drinks the abandoned beer. After a big chug.
KATE
I do too.
Blackout.
Lucinda McDermott Piro
(540) 239-3026 e-mail: Lucimc@charter.net
Betting On Serenity © 2001 by Lucinda McDermott